…an open letter to those in solidarity with Rafaella Gunz
An open letter to those in solidarity with Rafaella Gunz
Posted on December 22, 2015 by IamRunnerGirl.com
Last week Rafaella wrote a post about sexual harassment. She brought this issue forward in a public blog, named a specific secret Facebook H group, which in-turn violated the very purpose of a private group. Sexual harassment is not a new issue on this planet, nor on the internet. While the members of the private group respect the attempt to bring a potential harassment issue into the public eye, everyone is disappointed at the exposure of the private group name and respectfully asks Rafaella & Ella to remove the name of the group from their respective blogs.
In case you have not seen it, the author explains how she found a secret Facebook H group, specifically for the support of folks diagnosed with HSV & HPV. To join this group, she had to agree to a set of privacy rules that are established to protect the name of the group as well as the identity of the members. We are sad that the author felt she was sexually harassed as these groups are intended to be support groups where people can communicate and share ideas. These groups are not intended to be “hook up” groups like some specific smart phone applications.
The author states she brought the harassment issue it to the attention of the group admins, claimed they did nothing about it. Unfortunately, “going public” about this group, placing the name of said group on a public blog, violates numerous rules that she had to agree to before joining this group. This betrayal is very disappointing.
I believe there is failure here recognizing that all of these groups reside on the Facebook platform and must follow Facebook Community Standards. Paraphrasing these standards, members of Facebook have the option to “report abuse, controlling what they see, unfollowing, blocking and hiding posts, people, pages and applications one doesn’t want to see”. I’m hopeful that Rafaella had the maturity to use the block button when receiving a potentially harassing message from any Facebook member. When these messages are reported to the group admins, they follow Facebook Community Standards. Ladies, you are getting a First Amendment lesson for free; members have the right to say what they want to, and if you find that offensive, walk away, and/or use the “block button”. That is the same thing you would do at a public rally… if offended, walk away. Just so we are clear, in no way am I condoning sexual harassment behavior, as that is completely inappropriate.
When a complaint comes forward from member’s private messages, group admins review Facebook’s resolution guidelines and apply them. Facebook Community Standards state “not all disagreeable or disturbing content violates our Community Standards” and admins are not there to regulate personal messages between two people.
Ladies, I’ve had herpes most of my adult life. I’ve seen what this stigma can do to people. I’ve seen the fear in their eyes and stood in front of thousands of people and have been boo’ed and hissed at because of herpes. Hell, in front of hundreds of people, I’ve even been called a herpes slut…… It happens, it sucks, and we move on.
I’m saddened to read the blog sermon on entitlement, expecting “someone do something” about sexual harassment. Even more disappointing, neither one of you remembered to respect the unknown advocates that run these groups or the privacy these groups provide. The ramifications of your choices has left thousands of members feeling violated. Information that was shared within a group is supposed to stay in a group, out of public view, away from the stigma, away from all the haters, and away from the shame. Congratulations, that sanctity has been shattered. You’ve single-handedly scared thousands of folks. These folks don’t want to BE in the public. Regardless of whether or not you two feel that herpes should be public, the shame should stop and the stigma should be stomped. You forced others in believing they now have NO SAFE PLACE. Making this public… is not intelligent journalism or blogging.
I asked one of your colleagues yesterday, “what do I tell the members that feel you violated their trust?”….Kayla’s response was, (paraphrasing as I can no longer see said post), “tell them I won’t do it again”. I’m not even sure that was an apology, it sounds more like “I won’t make the same choices”. Is this truly taking responsibility for your actions?
While I commend what you and your colleagues are trying to do, the way you went about it was unethical and disrespectful. Again, please remove the name of the group from your blog and remember to be a professional, and remain above reproach, as you enjoy the rights provided under the First Amendment.
Good luck ladies, I hope you find the peace you are seeking.
